Choosing Beyond Comfort, Fear, and Personal Trajectory
“What do I want?” feels intuitive, but it may be the wrong question to ask when shaping a life.
I would like to have a discussion about decision-making through a method I have been using for many years. I could say I’ve used this method my entire life, but that wouldn’t be accurate. There have been entire decades when I discarded it and relied on other parameters instead—parameters aligned with social conditioning, pleasure, and the avoidance of pain.
This method is related to stepping away from both body-based and soul-based trajectories within the light/dark paradigm (the material we came in with) and choosing outside of our personal trajectory altogether.
The idea of a personal trajectory is actually a very recent invention. Historically, a person did not consider their life path primarily in terms of personal benefit, pleasure, wants, or pain avoidance. These considerations are quite modern—and not natural.
Our natural state is to be cradled within the human collective. As part of that collective, we follow the path that brings the greatest benefit and harmony to the whole.
It is widely recognized that we are living in unnatural times. As a result, our natural way of making decisions has become difficult—and largely forgotten. We are left asking questions like: How do I make decisions that guarantee what I want out of life? When “what I want out of life” was never a natural reference point to begin with?
So what, then, are we left to make decisions from?
Most people rely on either the body or the soul to guide them through the decision-making process, while leaving larger existential considerations entirely out of the room.
Whenever I talk about including a larger purpose, mission, or collective well-being in personal decision-making, two concerns consistently arise. The first is: “Are you saying I have to become a martyr for the greater good?” The second is: “Does this mean that decisions based on my body are wrong?”
A great deal of clarity around body- and soul-based decisions emerged after the publication of my article and podcast, When Pain Warps Your Timeline. Much of that clarification came during our WalkWithMeNow.com monthly call.
Before we continue, let’s address the question of martyrdom—specifically, how to tell whether making an uncomfortable or even painful decision in service of a long-term goal or mission is actually a form of martyrdom.
Martyrdom occurs when a person takes on pain so that others do not have to feel any. It involves suffering or dying for a cause or for others. There are additional patterns commonly present, such as betrayal by someone the martyr considers a close friend or trusted associate.
When you make a decision for the greater good of the planet, it does not mean you are taking pain away from others. If that is how you currently define “the greater good,” then I would suggest that this belief itself is worth examining—specifically, whether it is a belief that genuinely serves life, or one that perpetuates harm.
I make no secret of the fact that, for me, any teaching that frames pain as inherently good or necessary—for you or for others—is a harmful teaching. It validates and normalizes suffering.
I teach that suffering disables individuals and entire populations. Period.
Now, I’ll share the method I use to make decisions. I use it most days—for both the smallest and the largest choices in my life—and it consistently produces positive results.
A better decision-making question:
Does this choice support the mission I am here to fulfill?
The discussion doesn’t stop here - listen to the full podcast episode for unfiltered insights from Inelia and our panelists.
